Book Review: Never Split the Difference (Chris Voss : 2016)

The full title of this book by Chris Voss is “Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It” because our lives are full of negotiations, and without this understanding and associated skills we have a low chance of knowing what we want let alone actually getting it.

At the height of his career Voss was the lead international kidnapping negotiator for the FBI following stints policing the tough streets of Kansas City and as a FBI hostage negotiator. Voss recounts gripping encounters with terrorists, bank robbers and dangerous gang members creating drama and interest while providing readers with the techniques and overall strategy. These techniques supported Voss and his colleagues in saving lives, as well as saving money. Voss also presents how these techniques can be used in everyday situations such as asking for a pay rise, negotiating rent and discussing family matters, and gives examples of these from students of his negotiation course.

As a coach the importance of listening, rapport building, and sitting with the other person really resonated. These are important skills not only as coaches and negotiations but leaders and relationship builders.

I love how Voss implores us to embrace healthy conflict. Too often we are afraid to have a different perspective and we avoid discussions where we know there will be a disagreement that could lead to tension. Tension does not need to be the response. If, like Voss states, we approach conflict with the understanding that our counterpart is not the problem, the solution is, then the response can in fact be innovation and mutual appreciation (particularly when there are no criminals involved!)

I found this an enjoyable and easy read. The scenarios create page turning drama, the outcomes often surprise, and the takeaways are presented pragmatically for simple application in our every day lives.

I would recommend this as a book for anyone who is wanting to improve their sales and negotiation skills, as well as being a good read on the key aspects of communication and emotional intelligence.

Have you read this book? What are your thoughts?